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Author Topic: Man Claims He is Elvis' Brother and Half Orangutan  (Read 242 times)  Share 

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Offline Lazarus_Long

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Man Claims He is Elvis' Brother and Half Orangutan
« on: February 22, 2012, 08:20:13 PM »
Suspect Claims He is Elvis' Brother and Half Orangutan
NBC Miami

A man, who told authorities he was Elvis Presley's brother, CIA director and half orangutan, was arrested after an incident at a bank in Naples, the Collier County Sheriff's Office said.

Mark R. Loescher, 51, faces charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill after the Friday incident.

According to the probable cause statement, authorities responded to a bank in connection to a call about a man, who had pulled  a gun on woman after she approached him about his smoking car.

Loescher and his vehicle matched the description given to authorities, the report said.

Authorities pulled the car over, and Loescher told them he was in the CIA, the report said.

"As I was handcuffing him he told that he had jurisdiction over me since he was the director of the CIA," the law enforcement officer wrote in the statement. "While speaking with Loescher I could see that his comments were very off the wall and it did not appear as if he was all there mentally."

Besides being Presley's brother and CIA director, he also said he was half orangutan and that authorities needed to contact the "Fusion Center to check on his monkey blood."

He also said that he was a "g-man,"  and that he was good friends with "President Bush and has the same attorney," the report said.

A fully loaded magnum revolver and 104 bullets were seized from the car, which was towed. The passenger was released and taken home.

It wasn't immediately known if he had an attorney.

http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/weird/Suspect-Claims-He-is-Elvis-Brother-and-Half-Orangutan-139733363.html
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Offline David Bucci

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Re: Man Claims He is Elvis' Brother and Half Orangutan
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2012, 10:02:59 PM »
His proportion of "ape" is slightly off a bit...


There is a sacred nobility in knowing when to be silent and just listen. ~~ Try being informed instead of just opinionated.

Offline jaredfox

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Re: Man Claims He is Elvis' Brother and Half Orangutan
« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2012, 01:30:34 AM »
His proportion of "ape" is slightly off a bit...

An orangutan would never act like such and idiot making such ridiculous claims.

I wonder what a "magnum" is?  I am not aware of a firearms manufacturer doing business under that name but there is a wide variety of handgun and rifle calibers available with the magnum tag attached. they start with the .17HMR rimfire appropriate for use only on very small game, all the way to the S&W 500 magnum capable of taking any animal on the North American continent.   Yes all of the calibers are deadly if improperly used.  I am tired of our unbiased, fact reporting media putting every firearm in the most sensational and completely negative light possible.  Firearms are inanimate objects incapable of self activation, the negative light needs to be cast on the person that chooses to misuse a gun.   You can not blame the gun, the ammunition, the gun or ammunition maker, the gun or ammunition seller, the blame rests solely on the person in possession of that firearm and ammunition.  I find it amazing that the media was able to say the exact number of cartridges found (104 being an odd and unlikely number) but could only identify the gun as a "magnum". 

This guy obviously needs a lot of help and he needs someone to look after him, he certainly has no business owning any type of weapon or firearm, he probably should not be allowed to operate a vehicle or any other piece of equipment that he could do bodily harm or damage to property with.  After he gets the mental help he obviously needs he should face punishment for the illegal activities he has been involved in.

Not everyone has the mental capacity, clarity or judgement to own, handle or operate firearms safely.  Formal training should be considered before one makes the decision to purchase their first firearm, particularly handguns.

 For every one person like this one that chooses to break the law in the process of carrying, transporting, and/or using a gun there are literally hundreds of thousands of law abiding gun owners that use their guns for recreational, competitive, protection of home and family and hunting (feeding that same family) without breaking the law let alone killing or threatening people or doing damage to property.

Remember this - Well over 3 million gun owners killed no one today and will do the same tomorrow and they hope they can continue to do the same everyday for their entire life.
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Offline Doll

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Re: Man Claims He is Elvis' Brother and Half Orangutan
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2012, 05:35:18 PM »
Remember the law!  He is innocent until proven guilty so they will have to prove he is not Elvis' brother, not a g-man, and not half orangutan.  I think the state will have a difficult time disproving his claims!!  LOL!!  By the way, Laz, where do you find these stories?
We'd never know how high we are till we are called to rise; and then, if we are true to plan, our statures touch the sky.  Emily Dickinson

Offline Lazarus_Long

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Re: Man Claims He is Elvis' Brother and Half Orangutan
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2012, 08:41:00 AM »
I just turn on the intertubes everyday and there they are.    :)
"‘Value,’ has two factors for a human being: first, what he can do with a thing, its use to him... and second, what he must do to get it, its cost to him. There is an old song which asserts ‘the best things in life are free.’ Not true! This was the tragic fallacy which brought on the decadence and collapse of the democracies of the twentieth century; those noble experiments failed because the people had been led to believe that they could simply vote for whatever they wanted." - R.A.H.

 

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